Tuesday, March 13, 2007


Yesterday I realized I had not check the mail in awhile. Oh, maybe a week. So, I purged the mailbox of late bills and credit card offers.

The purple and yellow envelope says, "Your a Husky."

But, I thought God closed that door.
I thought I was taking a break.

Is this what God was preparing me for?

I sobbed...I don't know for an hour, maybe two.
I called my husband.

He came home and loved me.
He scooped me up
and held me.

He congratulated me
and then he called my mom.

And, when I came home from Shakespeare class at night,
he encouraged me
he congratulated me again
he told me he was proud of me.

I don't handle that well.

I cannot line up with my vision of the perfect, good mother.
I just cannot do it.

I must let it go.
I must embrace my challenges,
my changes.

(A bit of back story. I was informed some of my transcript information had not been received a few weeks ago. And, a few weeks ago is well after the deadline date. When I got that email, I grieved and let go. I had applied on a whim really. I'm not finished with my AA yet. I need more foreign language and a science. I thought my boys would be in public school.)

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