::Ash Wednesday, Lent, and the Easter Season::

Last year at Easter was when I just gave in.  I think I cried on Easter.  It wasn't because I was having sadness over Christ and his death on the cross.  It was because I was having a huge soul leak.  I didn't like church.  I wasn't even sure if I liked Christians.  I felt broken for the church.  I didn't want to go back ever again.  

But, I did.  I went to a church that represented what I thought I would never set foot in again.  A church where only a decade prior I might have possibly dared to say, I didn't believe Christians attended.  I might have said horrible things like they aren't real Christians.  They believe antiquated things.  They do antiquated things.  

I now attend a more traditional church.  They have accepted us. They are kind and full of grace.  They do old things.  They sing old hymns.  They have an ordained and married couple who lead the church.  A male and a female Pastor.  They have both, female and male, deacons and elders.  There is a lot of grace, equality, and beauty.  There is the Holy Spirit.  

I don't think I will fast this lent or clean out my kitchen.  I don't plan on giving up things although I think I might watch my mouth more.  I was thinking I might give up alcohol.  

I have definitely given up worrying about whether someone is a "real" Christian.  I have definitely given up trying to define Christianity.  I have definitely given up holding my family up to some perfect image of a family.  This is us.  We play our part in the body of Christ.  It's important.  God loves us.  I pray that you can loves us and all our broken brethren.  

Please don't try to save those who are already saved.  They may not look like you or act like you.   But, let them be saved and do their part.  Live a life that leads others toward the Mercy and the Grace.  

::Something to chew on::

Devotional on giving up.  

A Free Printable for making a tree for this season.

::A Day in the Life::

I saw this last night and printed it out this morning.  Sums me up pretty well.




Morning Knitting.  Alaina's Simple Seed Stitch Dishcloth.  I have been knitting a few months now.  I finally tried magic loop and made a boob beanie.  But, I do wish I had started with some simple dishclothes.  They are useful.  You can actually make something in  very little time.  The cotton dish yarn is inexpensive.  Oh yeah, and they are cute.  Cute is always good.



My SIL sent a box of art supplies from her studio.  I snatched this from the box.  I don't do well with most daily planners.  I keep reminders on my phone. I have a calendar on the fridge near the sink.  But, I do like keeping track of what I need to do for a day.  I usually make notes in there or write down good things or sometimes crud.  Somedays when I feel defeated, I write down all the things I accomplished.  It is good to see that you actually did a lot!




Morning tea.  My old kettle stopped working properly.  It wouldn't shut off.  Then I would remember and burn my hand on the hot handle.  I figured it might be a fire hazard at that point.  This one was cute though.




Library visit.  Where I ran into someone I knew. Which usually happens at the library.  Got invited to eat Tacos :)  My 3 year old emptied the St. Patty's section.

• The Complete Gnomes
• Dinosaurs Before Dark (needed to check that out again)
• Shamrocks, Harps, and Shillelaghs
• Green
• Cooking the Irish Way
• A Fine St. Patrick's Day
• Sock Yarn One Skein Wonders
• Sweater Quest:My Year of Knitting Dangerously
• Sock Yarn Studio
• Images of Ireland

Then we went to the market where it snowed quite a bit while we were inside and the temp dropped to 5F. Which still freaks me out a bit.  I shouldn't get so worked up.  I always think our van will freeze and it won't start.  

The very messy living room that probably won't get cleaned up tonight.  I like to think of it as my own personal theft system.  

I stole this from my husband's studio.  He collects the strangest little treasures.  I grew up Catholic and did not like images from the Catholic or Orthodox churches for a long time.  But, over the last year, I find them calming.  It is such a different reaction.  Age I guess.  Wisdom.  

This is so yummy.  But, I bought it because I thought the jars would make nice storage and sturdy drinking glasses.  

I bought some more markers since most of ours are shot.  This kid asks me if they are washable. Yes, they are.  I only buy the washable kind now.  

::Park Day::

This Day was beautiful.  Our first good snowfall in Montnaa.  we put on al the gear we could muster for an afternoon at the park which led to a long walk around town.  We ended up at the library and local coffee shop for cookies and Dirty Chai.  No one had visited the park, well maybe a few animals and one brave bike rider.  The snow sparkles and is fluffy.  

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see.

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Shop Indie Bookstores

"True wealth is not about money; it's about independence.  Gardening gives you back that basic freedom."

"Generally, people who show up with fiddles and pie are welcome in almost every enjoyable place in America.  This is a truth to live by, friends.  If these two items aren't welcome where you spend your free time, you're hanging out with the wrong crowd."

I hope Jenna at Cold Antler Farm doesn't mind me quoting her book here.  I enjoyed this look into her journey.  I deeply admire her strength and determination to keep going to her goals.

 

Habit and Nature

I am inspired by this post

http://www.afterthoughtsblog.net/2013/10/31-days-of-charlotte-mason-discipline.html

I really struggle with my nature and habits (both good and bad).  I feel like homeschooling and being a homemaker brings my nature and habits to the forefront where maybe if I had a career they would be less noticeable. Because people always ask what do you do?  (At least they used to where I lived previously.  I think people here figure you BREATHE and LIVE and they don't seem to give a damn about vocations).  I could hide behind a career.  But, sometimes I feel like it would be really easy for someone to see me as that crazy homeschool mom who never washes her hair (dreads) and those kids who can't wake up at a normal hour (we don't really have bedtimes).  

But, I honestly never directly connected my nature and habits before.  I figured my nature was something to battle to fit into the right mold (of which I cannot figure out why or whom the mold is...I just battle with the darn thing and it is getting to weigh me down).  

I don't know if I should change some of my habits or if they are apart of my nature.  I don't even know if they are good for my kids.  I just know that they aggravate me some days.  When they aggravate me, I attack them and try to change them all at once.  I try creating a plan and applying rules.  And, I always do it to someone.  But, I don't really apply it to me.  I insist the kids get up and do ALL THE THINGS.  But, then I get distracted and run out to the grocery store or I don't set them up for success with a good breakfast because...well.....I was up...erm...all night...doing...hmmmm stuff.

::Autumn 2013::

I am going through one of those times when my brain seems useless.  I can't remember things.  Today I put a block of cheese in the baking cabinet.  I found it a few hours later, when I went looking for mini dark chocolate chips.  Montana Autumn is quite lovely so far.  Some cool nights.  A threat of snow.  A few really warm days.  

The Mist and All

by Dixie Willson

I like the fall

The mist and all

I like the night owl’s lonely call

And wailing sound

Of wind around

I like the gray

November day

And dead, bare boughs that coldly sway

Against my pane

I like the rain

I like to sit

And laugh at it

And tend my cozy fire a bit

I like the fall

The mist and all

The Scarecrow

Merry-Go-Round

Merry go Round, a photo by OakBlossoms on Flickr.

He is free.
Free to learn.
Free to play.

We walk to the park.
He rides his bike to the park.

Forbidden Merry-Go-Round.
Deemed to dangerous.
Banned from modern playgrounds.
It sits here amongst the new equipment.
Calling them for fun.

The Artist

4 years old 

I don't know if I really kept many drawings and artwork from my children in the past. I found this posted on the fridge. A little girl on a horse with her mom and brother. So sweet. So innocent. 

August 2013 Montana

The wishes are bigger here :)

Some of the wild life they have collected and will shortly return.

This is the Oasis.  A local swimming place for the summer. The big kids and Daddy were diving.  

Paint colors

Wood Smoke

Refreshing Mimosa

Sun washed kelp

Light Willow

Antique White

And, then I need to find a red for the back door :)

Montana Week 1

So far this week....we have met our Pediatrician and spent 4 hours at the local ER/Urgent Care getting to know the staff.  Enthralled by a thunderstorm and downpour and the following gush of water through the egress windows.  Spent some time with the wonderful landlords.  Washed a lot of kitchen cabinets. Took some really long baths in a really big tub. 

Spring Blossom Move Exhale

I was reading the latest edition of Rhythm of the Home .....and it hit me. This feeling I have welling up inside of me. Somedays I want to cry and others I just want to pack what I love in the van and run.

"Spring is the season that always sees the earth exhale. The sigh of relief as color returns, trees bud, and flowers bloom is one that is welcomed with open arms after the long, dark days of winter. "

I don't share much about this part of life. It has been confusing, endless, difficult, even maybe a relief somedays. The last time I went to church someone commented that they didn't realize he was still there. My husband has been gone. For over a year. He went searching for a job when a family member found him a place. There in that other state. The one that is not at all like this one we have lived in for so many years. My children miss their Daddy. Our little one...he doesn't even realize it so much. He just says Daddy when the phone rings.


Poppy swinging at Grandma's House.





Anguish in deciding if we should move. Anguish in accepting fate or maybe finding a new place to bloom.


Ocean swinging at Grandma's House

There are tales of gypsy blood in my veins. Of a Grandpa who rode in a covered wagon. I never settled even when finally we came back to Washington State. The place my mother grew up. The place she called home. We move on. I hope the children see the adventure. I hope they really believe that home is where the heart is.

I have been holding my breath. Worried. Avoiding reaching out to God. I am on the verge of a Great Exhale.

April 2013

It has been quiet around here.
Changes happening.
One of us found out we can't eat gluten.
A birthday.
A celebration of Christ.
New season of cleaning and hope and praying.

I woke up to the strangest sound on Easter Morning.



Oops forgot to add the water when I set the coffee the night before. Life has been really long and tiring here. I turned in my French Press and got a coffee pot with a timer. The only rule we have for mornings is to leave mama alone till she has had her coffee.



Someone beat me to it.




An egg hunt and a newly found aversion to itchy clothes. She insists on wearing what she calls her gym shirt underneath the itchy princess dress.



And, this guy is double digits now.
He was told there was one last egg.
An orange one.
He didn't believe it was for him.

Toy Rotation and what to do with all the baby blankets...

 


 To keep the toy mess down we use a toy rotation for the little ones. We use plastic bins to store away toys. Then they can pull a box out to play and just that box. Each box gets an old baby blanket. They can set out the blanket for play. If they keep most of the toys on the blanket it is pretty easy to bunch up the ends and dump them back in the box. But, an old blanket is just a fun toy or cape or tablecloth for the imaginative child.

January 2013

Here it seems to be my monthly post!  This month I bought a coffee maker.  Which seems silly to some of you.  But, I have been a mostly tea drinker and occasional French Press coffee drinker for the past few years.  I think the French Press was just too strong for my tummy anymore.  But, homeschooling and mothering five children has taken it's toll.  I bought a nice big bag of Organic Coffee, French vanilla Silk creamer, and a coffee maker with a timer.  Now it is waiting for me each morning.

I joined the Book a Week challenge at The Well Trained Mind Forums in hopes that I can get back into reading for myself.  I have been having a difficult time reading in general.  Just fitting it in to my life and then my eye sight bothering me.  I had some reading glasses which my youngest child broke a month or so back.  I was at Costco and found out that my eyesight had weakened a bit, so I picked up a pack of three glasses at a stronger level and they have indeed helped a ton.  And,  three pack means if I forget them and a certain child snatches them up, there is a spare.

I finally cracked my books open.  And, getting up before children with a cup of coffee in hand certainly has helped accomplish that.  I haven't read for personal pleasure in the last two years.  Maybe an occasional article or online junk.  But, a book in hand...no not at all.  I mean to.  But, I end up putting it off or I am too tired.  And, that was a season in life.  One of those times wherever indeed, having a family especially a larger than average size family, does mean you have to set aside what you want sometimes.  Don't throw a big fit.  Just put on your big girl panties, you signed up for this ride.  Some times the ride is going around a swift turn and down a really steep drop.  It is ok.  Life does go on and you will find the time to fit the fun stuff in again.

Writing a letter to Santa.

Writing a letter to Santa., a photo by OakBlossoms on Flickr.

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

~inspired by Soulemama~

Big boy, Little boy.

Big boy, Little Boy., a photo by OakBlossoms on Flickr.

I snapped this photo one night this week. My youngest wasn't tired. So, my oldest took him out into the living room and used the iPad to watch a show on Netflix. I peeked in on them and they look so big and so small. I cannot believe I have two sons so far apart. A charming life I dare say.