Free Time

While nursing my youngest, I admit I sometimes read blogs or play mind numbing games on my ipad. Today a post I read centered on free time. I have tried to make free time lately. I have listened to many mothers and fathers who desire free time. I know I get my panties in a bunch at least once a week over my lack of free time.

You know what. I live in one amazing society if I can whine about free time. Sure I spent quite a bit of brain power figuring out that I am an introvert, so I need that time.

Don't fool yourself. Free time with five kids might start to look real different. Getting to pee by yourself starts to look mighty fine. Sneaking a cup of coffee while a baby sleeps on you and your toddler watches some dancing rat might qualify as free time.

Somewhere there needs to be a transition. Like when I realized you can do all sorts of stuff while you nurse a baby. But, then I had my fourth child who I had resigned myself to never having. I realized the best thing you can do while nursing is to stare in those little eyes. Talk to them and kiss them. Tell that sweet child little stories. Count those few fleeting moments like little bridges to heaven. That is free time.

Free time needn't be shopping or coffee breaks at the MegaMermaid. It can be time to refill our love tanks with someone special and the absence of consumerism and screens. Have some free time with a picnic, in a garden, or
on the beach.

November Meal Planning

 I always find things I want to make.  But, then I look in my pantry and I am missing stuff.  Sometimes, when I work on my weekly plan there just isn't room for a few ingredients.  In September, I started planning for October. I made a folder to save the new recipes for October.  When it started looking a bit too much, I think around 20, I started November.  This worked so well for me.  I looked through them all and added those staples to my first shopping list.  I was able to do most of them for October.  It really helped to mix up my normal go to recipes like chili, enchiladas, tacos, homemade pizza, pasta and sauce.  So, here are my picks for November. 

 Breakfast

If I can actually get up in the morning and make something for breakfast.  SURPRISE!  My crew will wake up early, too.  They are so much happier with something to eat.  If I remember I will set out stuff the night before. I can mix up dry stuff and put them in the mixing bowl.  The bright green one that has it's own lid.  The one that used to seem so big before I had a teenager. 

Mocha Coconut Banana Bread

Orange Glow Muffins

Protein Porridge

Soup
It is starting to get cold.  I love soup. It is cheap.  I can usually make it in the crockpot.  When put in the crockpot at breakfast time, it is usually read for lunch.  Hot lunch makes homeschooling just a little bit better.  Already prepared hot lunch makes me feel like I almost have a maid or cook or mother's helper.  
 
Gluten Free Goddess's Mulligatawny soup with Jasmine Rice

Humboldt Soup

Dinner

For some reason dinner is the hardest meal of the day for me.  I don't really like dinner.  Everyone in my house likes something different for dinner.  My husband and the 14 year old man er boy...whatever he feels like that day...think they need meat and man food.  My 11 year old is a staunch vegetarian. My 8 year old wants to eat and run.  My toddler wants to eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. The baby wants to slap my spoon and nurse at the same time.  I could eat chili and rice or stir fry and rice EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.  If I was feeling warm I might eat a smoothie. Oh, and the budget. Our budget is tight.  My compromise?  They don't get to complain unless they help. I buy meat maybe once a month and it is usually I really good sale.  Our local store often has B1G1F.  I can usually get nice chicken or roasts in a family pack.  So, I can get a lot of meals out of those.  I am totally digging on the lentils, too.  

Lentil and Quinoa Stuffed Peppers.

Crockpot Pizza Potatoes

Eggplant Veggie Burgers

Spaghetti and Red Lentil Balls

I made the lentil balls and they were awesome.  No one complained.  Well, at least not the annoying kind. But, everyone ate.  No one said they had a stomach ache.  I even made some Vegan Parm.  I used half raw almond and half nutritional yeast. I whizzed that up in my vitamix very carefully.  I was afraid of making nut butter.  I ended up adding salt to taste. I felt like it needed some saltyness.  I feel like such a dummy mummy for waiting so long to make Vegan Parm.  It is so expensive and the jar is so little.  I think I spent maybe 2 or 3 bucks and the jar is huge.  It is so yummy and full of protein and B12.  What isn't to like about that?

Found a new blog while searching for Vegan menus. Fimby is full of natural things and simple beauty.

I spent Saturday trying to find alone time. I let the boys play games and veg. But, first I knocked out the pile of dishes and laundry. I gave each boy one major chore. Little flower got herself a really plush bed and lots of babies in her giant play pen. I think I really needed that. I knew I wouldn't get to go anywhere and my fuse was short. But, it sure feels good.

::Things I need to do this week::
Finishing revamping chorepacks
Wash all the windows...they get dirty and moldy over the winter since the back half of the house is partially in the ground.
Oldest is hanging up the laundry we got behind on.
Read more in Siblings without rivalry...these boys drive me nuts. I get tired of yelling, leave me alone and the oh so popular..you are such a turd.
Make a Trader Joes list. I realize we haven't been there in a few months. Seems strange.

From the Joy of Vegan Baking

From the Joy of Vegan Baking, a photo by OakBlossoms on Flickr.

These were delicious bars. I doubled the recipe, used canola oil instead of Earth Balance, and Marionberry preserves instead of raspberry. These would be a great breakfast bar for on the go mornings. The jam gets a bit gooey, but it sets up nice by the next morning. Of course, I only had one bar left to enjoy by the next morning. So, you might consider making them after the kids go to bed.

Arrival of Ocean

Our newest little addition arrived at what we thought was 39 weeks.  My water broke at home at 5:30 am which put me on edge right away.  I have always had my children with in 15 or 20 minutes of my water breaking.  I didn't think I would make it to the birthing center.  So, I called my midwife and laid down on the bed while my husband let my parents know we were leaving.  

The little one arrived just after 2:00 pm.  He wasn't breathing well and was covered in vernix.  

He has struggled with nursing from the start.  Which is all new territory to me.  He lost enough weight and could not keep up his temp that we ended up in the hospital within his first week.  It was a bit traumatizing.  But, the hospital we were at was amazing.  Everyone was so wonderful to us.  We were treated amazingly.  I have a previous experience with a Children's Hospital that was downright horrible.  But, any concerns were elevated immediately.  They made sure to not only care for my boy, but they made sure I had plenty to eat and plenty of water.  They brought me sterilized bottles and nipples since I have had to pump. It help so much because I have never had to pump before.  I have never had to see my baby not eat.  I have never had to deal with all these emotions that I am dealing with.

I have moments where I feel like we are bonding enough.  I feel so sad that this pregnancy cut my nursing relationship short with my only girl.  I was hoping with this new arrival that I would be tandem nursing to ease any engorgement.  I pictured us all snuggled in bed together.  Instead, I am still working to keep up my supply.  Ocean is still struggling to gain weight.  

But, I am trying to shake those moments off.  I am striving to enjoy the few moments here and there, when he actually latches on...even if it's only with a nipple shield.  I am enjoying just having my little girl snuggled up next to us on the couch.  You know the couch that has turned into my bed.  Because I have to get up so often at night to feed him and rinse out the pumping stuff and grab a new bottle....and do all these things I didn't before.  I am trying to look forward to when we will just get to lay down in bed and snuggle.  Where night time is when I tuck my arm around my baby and let him nurse when he wants.  I know it will happen.  I just know it will happen.  

Pumping...

I haven't found the time to share our journey so far with our newest addition. But, I wanted to share something funny before I forget. Our little girl was walking around with a bottle and she held it up to her little breast and made pumping sounds. I didn't know if I should laugh or cry. I would like for her to be imitating nursing her baby. But, I chose to laugh. Because she was imitating. Our new little baby is getting breastmilk and I believe he will transition to the breast once he catches up to his due date.

To Stress or not To Stress

I have been limiting what things I take in lately. There are things mounting that I have no control over. Things I cannot make happen. I have been ignoring those blogs where women share perfect pictures of crafty things I can never make or old houses with perrfectly beautiful imperfections.

I really have to focus on some good stuff and NOW. I cannot have a baby within this negative cloud.

I crawled up into my husbands lap this afternoon. I kissed his great big bushy Amishy beard. I said...I thought when we were dating our life would be just like all those road trips where we jumped in the little Justy or Brat (yes we both had Subarus) and we would go where we wanted, when we wanted. No one told me how stressfull it could get. No one told me I cou loose thst Peace.

Funny...he says...I was just thinking the same thing...We would just wish to drive off to Oregon and off we went.

I have posted a few links from here lately. Her post popped into my mailbox shortly after I climbed in bed this afternoon. My husvsnd took the boys to their PE class. I paid the rest of the Auto Insurance...thank you automated I don't have to speak to anyone phone line...and hoped on before taking a much desired nap.

I hope these post help you with your anxiety. Push aside a few things. Slow down a bit even if it is just today. Give someone a kiss. Realize road trips aren't so easy with five kids, but they can be planned and they can still happen.

Searching for Inspiration...

I have been searching for s little happiness in my life. I am trying to focus on the positives. It seems like a lot of work sometimes. It is probably just the winter. It is probably a whole lot of the stress of seeing things that need to get done and jobs that need to happen. I remember when I moved bsck to Washington. I had peace and I felt good. I was thin, full of energy and ate well. I have those moments here, but I really wish I could find that place again although I know it would have to be a bit different considering things are different.

::Naughty things to eat::
Skillet Cookies

::Funny Things to Watch::
God is Not a White Man

::Prayerful Things::
A New Way to Pray from Relevant Magazine

::Things to Read::

Happy Groundhogs Day!

I have to share a dream that woke me up very early this morning. Pregnancy always beings on the craziest dreams for me. But, this one had perfect timing. I dreamt I was naked and I felt like the baby was coming. I reached down and then looked down and the baby was coming out and in the caul. But, I was like it isn't time yet and he went back in. When I woke I realized it was Groundhogs Day. And, today in Washington State there is no rain and the sun is shining amazingly bright.

Thinking about simplicity in 2011

Well, 2011 is here. Several years ago I realized I had a sometimes over the edge attachment to things. I started trying to simplify. In the midst, We added another child and now there will be another soon. I have that nesting thing going on. I am craving a big move. I love moving. My third child asked me this week what my favorite things were. I told him moving. He laughed because he thought I meant the ability to move. I mean moving to a new home. I love throwing out and donating as we pack. I love getting there and not opening boxes till we need them. I love putting the glasses away in new clean shelves. I love the smell of fresh paint (even the low voc stuff has a smell).

Here are some Other bloggers to help you get started:
SimpleMom has a list of questions if you are feeling thoughtful.

Raising Olives encourages you to read your Bible.

Enjoy and celebrate the seasons.

And, two of my favorite boards are holding the 2011 in 2011 decluttering challenge. Here and Here.


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Meditating on this New Year

I am not a fan of resolutions.
It makes me feel like I am setting myself up to fail.
I didn't finish that photo project last year. I guess I could try agsin this year.
I did get dreads and I love them.


I have been inspired to meditate on this New Year instead.
I am going to give praise for what is yet to come.
I have no idea what God has in store for us.
I know we are coming to the end of schooling for my husband.
I know we are depending on God's provision for a suitable job.
I know a little boy is due sometime in March.
I know I will turn 35 this year.