Getting ready for a new year

I consider my new year to start on my Birthday.  Shouldn't everyone?  I have been thinking, praying, wondering, and conspiring over my birthday wishes.  

I plan to spend the month of August following The 30 Day Vegan Challenge.  Which I am sure you have seen me posting about already.  I have been desiring to go Vegan again.  I have felt drawn towards it.  Then Colleen posted about her challenge.  And, I thought.  "Wow, that would be the perfect birthday present to myself!"

I am working on joining a group of ladies who have larger or really big families.  We are married and single, rich and poor, main stream and hippie, homeschooling and out of homeschooling, working and moms at home.  It is a varied bunch but we all have one thing in common.  It isn't something we see often in larger families.  The one thing we have in common is we are all committed to being Gentle Christian Mothers.  None of us claim to be perfect.  We are just centered on the gift of Jesus, Grace, and a job well done.  It isn't always easy.  Sometimes we have to extend the Grace to ourselves.  I will hopefully be announcing where to find us soon. 

Found a new blog while searching for Vegan menus. Fimby is full of natural things and simple beauty.

I spent Saturday trying to find alone time. I let the boys play games and veg. But, first I knocked out the pile of dishes and laundry. I gave each boy one major chore. Little flower got herself a really plush bed and lots of babies in her giant play pen. I think I really needed that. I knew I wouldn't get to go anywhere and my fuse was short. But, it sure feels good.

::Things I need to do this week::
Finishing revamping chorepacks
Wash all the windows...they get dirty and moldy over the winter since the back half of the house is partially in the ground.
Oldest is hanging up the laundry we got behind on.
Read more in Siblings without rivalry...these boys drive me nuts. I get tired of yelling, leave me alone and the oh so popular..you are such a turd.
Make a Trader Joes list. I realize we haven't been there in a few months. Seems strange.

Arrival of Ocean

Our newest little addition arrived at what we thought was 39 weeks.  My water broke at home at 5:30 am which put me on edge right away.  I have always had my children with in 15 or 20 minutes of my water breaking.  I didn't think I would make it to the birthing center.  So, I called my midwife and laid down on the bed while my husband let my parents know we were leaving.  

The little one arrived just after 2:00 pm.  He wasn't breathing well and was covered in vernix.  

He has struggled with nursing from the start.  Which is all new territory to me.  He lost enough weight and could not keep up his temp that we ended up in the hospital within his first week.  It was a bit traumatizing.  But, the hospital we were at was amazing.  Everyone was so wonderful to us.  We were treated amazingly.  I have a previous experience with a Children's Hospital that was downright horrible.  But, any concerns were elevated immediately.  They made sure to not only care for my boy, but they made sure I had plenty to eat and plenty of water.  They brought me sterilized bottles and nipples since I have had to pump. It help so much because I have never had to pump before.  I have never had to see my baby not eat.  I have never had to deal with all these emotions that I am dealing with.

I have moments where I feel like we are bonding enough.  I feel so sad that this pregnancy cut my nursing relationship short with my only girl.  I was hoping with this new arrival that I would be tandem nursing to ease any engorgement.  I pictured us all snuggled in bed together.  Instead, I am still working to keep up my supply.  Ocean is still struggling to gain weight.  

But, I am trying to shake those moments off.  I am striving to enjoy the few moments here and there, when he actually latches on...even if it's only with a nipple shield.  I am enjoying just having my little girl snuggled up next to us on the couch.  You know the couch that has turned into my bed.  Because I have to get up so often at night to feed him and rinse out the pumping stuff and grab a new bottle....and do all these things I didn't before.  I am trying to look forward to when we will just get to lay down in bed and snuggle.  Where night time is when I tuck my arm around my baby and let him nurse when he wants.  I know it will happen.  I just know it will happen.  

I used to read a lot to the boys...

then we changed some of our schooling methods.  Then we added a son with some speech and reading difficulties.  Read Alouds fell to the way side.  I miss them though.  I need to find the time to sneak them in again.

Right before this pregnancy...

I felt like things were going smoothly again.  I felt like I came up, we'll okay we, had found a good rhythm.  Getting pregnant and therefore sick made me feel ike a mess. How was I going to handle another child?  Should the children go to school next year?  This book is helping me find my way again.  Reminding me  what is important.  Reminding me that we are adding someone new...again...   

We don't know this someone's personality.  We can't be prepared.

What is important. What is doable.

I am reading the above book. I will try to keep track of some notes here. There is this quote from page 18, "What seems the most important is usually not; what is most doable is the place to begin. If. you do enough that is doable, you will get to the important, and your motivation will be fueled byyour success."

I think I try to tell this to my children, but I definitely don't do it for myself. I make countless schedules and routines. Yet, I have yet to work on the things that keep our routines from working. I think it would be better if I worked on improving mealtime and bedtimes. Bedtimes used to include candles and lots of books. Now they are usually TV with Dad at a horribly late time while Mom passes out in the bedroom. Dad misses this time, but no one is doing anything about it.

Those inner voices...

Always seem to come when my children are doing somethingthat drove my mom crazy. All of a sudden I hear her and realize it is just me. Apologize and reconnect. Call my mom and tell her I am sorry for driving her so crazy she had to mutter to herself.

I have been feeling better. We are expecting another member in the spring. I have never parented a toddler while being pregnant. I am exhausted. I feel bad, too. I don't feel like I can give my all to the baby. So, there is definitely some mamma guilt to top of that sundae.

Communication, Parenting, being a Gentle Christian Mother

I sought out gentle parenting out of necessity.  I was raised in a non-gentle home.  When my mom remarried, I saw how a man could be gentle with his daughters.  He did well with me and I was a very rotten, very lost little 14 year old young lady.

I'm now the mother of four.  And, I still find myself reverting back to learned behaviors.  Things I don't want to do. Things I cannot do to my children.  Often I haven't taken care of things like proper meals and sleep.  And, yet I know there is more.  I know, for me, it's a spiritual battle.  The enemy does not want my family to be gentle and kind Christians.  He wants us to fall apart. He wants me to be angry and fearful.

So, I spend some time during my days to reflect.  Remember what my goals are in parenting.  Do you have goals in your parenting?  If you homeschool, do you have goals for your children?  Not the academic ones but the spiritual ones or the leadership ones.  The ones like I will my hug my children daily.

I'm currently reading this article.  It's a Waldorf article titled "Compassionate Communication."

This book is a great book if you are a Christian family.  One that feels like they aren't on track. One that struggles with their children's behavior.  Do you feel like you are all at odds with each other?  Do you keep asking for parenting help and everyone just gives you surface answers?  Do you want to dig down deep?  

Waving Hello to Daddy!

Waving Hello to Daddy!
Originally uploaded by OakBlossoms

Our youngest has been growing like, well, wildflowers. Sweet, pretty, and fast. She is waving, climbing the stairs, eating, and growling. She does have three older brothers. Growling seems like a must.

We have been having a lot of fun. Spring is beautiful in Washington this year. It's just gorgeous out. We have had just enough rain to enjoy it. And, enough sunshine to bring out the much needed sunshine happiness.

Our butterflies have hatched and they have been so much fun to watch. I want to let them go. But, I don't want to let them go. If you want to see what else we have been up to, check out our learning adventures at OakBlossoms Academy.

This winter has been much better then last year. Even when times were tough or too cold, there was a new little person to watch.

New little people remind you that each day is new.
New for everyone,
not just babies.
We all learn something new.
We all can get up in the morning
and watch the sunrise.

Brooms, Waldorf

Here are some of the things I've been gazing at lately...

 I really hope you do not mind me downloading this picture and sending everyone who actually reads this blog running over right now at this very moment to find something that will actually bring them some joy when they do that dirty little deed of sweeping.  Not only that, but it comes in a child size, too.  

Waldorf education.  I've been drawn to this for years.  I've put it off for different reasons.  I think it's time though.  I'm taking a few things with us that we have enjoyed in this homeschooling journey.  I'm packing them in a sweet basket and walking down a trail.  It's still homeschooling.  It's just going to be a bit more.  I don't know, meaningful.  I heard that voice that says jump.  Then I read a post I made when my oldest was much younger.  I realized I need to jump. I couldn't afford not to.  Grade 1 may not look like much.  She includes everything you need.  Stories, supplies list, examples of pictures.  I printed out the e-book.  I'm glad I did.  I just print out a bit at a time to read.  And, now I can print out the months outline and stories.  I wasn't sure if it's what I needed.  But, it's wonderful, amazing and everything you need to jump.  Everything you need to start.  The rest will come.  You don't need to be perfect. YOU NEED TO DO.

Gratitude Friday

Waldorf Mama is sharing today and I thought so should I.

:: I'm so thankful for the young man in my life.  The young man who is turning 13 today.  

:: I'm thankful for his Grammy who will cook him up pounds of shrimp.

:: I'm thankful I married my sweetheart so young.   

:: I'm thankful for heat you can just switch on.  (We have been reading The Little House on the Praire.  We were piled under blankets late last night.  I was still a little cold.  But, Ma said it was ok if they couldn't afford glass for their windows.)

Beach

0127101629.jpg
Originally uploaded by OakBlossoms
(Be nice it's the camera on my phone.)

Sometimes I forget where I live. We move around a lot. But, we came back here in 2008. I haven't always appreciated the beauty of the places I've lived in. I live right down the street from this impressive piece of History.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

The Simple Woman's Daybook

~*~*~*~*~

Outside my window...

the lake is frozen, the air is crisp, but by Golly it is still SUNNY in Washington.

I am thinking...

about planning the rest of our learning year.

I am thankful for...

boys who love being big brothers.

From the learning rooms...

we are listening to Hallelujah Handel,

reading about winter,

talking about seasons,

reading lots of books,

trying to figure out a few crafts to do...I think we are going to work on this recycled star wreath today.  

From the kitchen...

Banana Bread cake with blueberries.

I am wearing...

uggs that I have had for at least 15 years, pants, a long sleeve brown shirt with a teal short sleeve one over the top.  I don't know why, but layering shirts makes me feel young.  Anyone else?

I am creating...

absolutely nothing.  I still want to make a mobile (like this) for the baby. But, she puts everything in her mouth.  I'm not sure how good that would be now...

I am going...

perhaps for a walk.  Did I mention how cold it is?  But, our baby really loves walk and my post-preggo body is craving one.

I am reading...

Calm and Compassionate Children.

I am hoping...

for a calm and simple Christmas.

I am hearing...

boys playing with lincoln logs very loudly over the sound of Handel.

Around the house...

my Papa is working on our shower which decided to leak at some point this summer.

One of my favorite things...

knowing it's only a few steps away to visit with my own Grandma Cookie.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

read a stack of library books (mostly on Winter), make that recycled Christmas Wreath, walk everyday, visit the thrift store.

Here is a picture for thought I am sharing...

(How deep the ice on the pond was yesterday.)

      

I'm not sure what happened with Good Reads. I thought at some point I could just post a review straight from their site. Goodness, I don't have time for all of this.


I've picked this up before. I thought it was time I really read it. It's beside by bed. It's getting a bit of time each night from me. I think my children have a pretty calm and compassionate life. I think I'm the one who needs help to remember to give that life to them. There are definitely some things I disagree with in this book (as a Christian). So, if you are really conservative you might choose to put this book down. Other than that I love the suggestions. I love the stories and personal input.

It is a girl!!!

I made the doctor tell me three times. The third time he got a really good shot of her parts and gave me a nice scientific in detail description of what everything was and will be.

Ultrasound is coming..

So, tomorrow is the ultrasound. All my boys are coming, so I hope all is well in there. I just started worrying about what if there was bad news and my boys had to be there for it. Ugh.

Also, got my directions for the next appointment and my Gestational Diabetes test. My last pregnancy I had it and I had to fast for the 1 hour. I'm curious how it will go this time. I haven't been feeling so hot unless I keep my protein up. This means I've been eating cheese, cottage cheese, eggs, fish, and chicken. I've had red meat twice, but boy is it difficult. I'm terrified of mad cow disease. I'm normally a vegetarian, so it's a bit much some times. I definitely feel the dairy stuffiness that I grew up with. But, feeling better is worth it, even if I'm stuffy. I'm jealous of all those Vegan and Vegetarian moms.

I just changed this photo a bit. I then realized I haven't really been taking photos at all since I've been sick. Ugh. I'm going to start carrying my camera around again. Honestly we just don't get out much here because we have to drive. I don't mind driving. It's that we use to go for walks to get out and there was so much to see. Not really much to see around here but a neighborhood and if you leave the neighborhood you better keep an eye on where you are walking so you don't get run over (no side walk).

Not quite 20 weeks (had to come back and update this one!)

I'm wearing a Bella Band with my pants in this one, so it looks really round.

Here you can see where the top of my uterus is at. Right down that middle line.